1. |
the future is bright
07:47
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i want you to know
i will never go
i will never give up
i will never give up
i promise you're more
than imagery
you painted your voice
inside of me
i promise you're more
than an empty hole
to sit very still
and wait to be filled
the echo of 10,000
little lines of dialogue
the scene unfolding
my words are flowing
stop with the metaphors
you're like a dead horse
your words repeating
nothing left to be beaten
the day is gone
and you're like a fog
creeping in
lost and blinded
how long to find it
a future of kindness
a future of wealth
a future of brightness
a future of health
a season of death
is just an excuse
well i refuse
tomorrow i start
with a new heart
with a new soul
and i want you to know
the future is bright
maybe not tonight
but soon you will see
how it will be
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2. |
i. eye contact
03:51
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"it gets exhausting putting on a face 24/7, just nonstop with your family members. you know, eye contact can be very difficult for me, and it's not because its antisocial, it's because to me, bad things can happen when i have eye contact with another human being. and it will sound crazy, but i'm tired of having to look just in between to look normal and carry like nothing's the matter when i'm hearing, or seeing, or experiencing really intense feelings. its just... you have to get help eventually, because you go down the wrong path, which i have 100% gone down."
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3. |
roads 1 and 2
03:33
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for the last few months, i mean alaskan ones
i've been driving recklessly, out of some monotony
for the things you love, once you've had enough
and you're throwing up, and you're coughing blood
so my idea of change is sitting in a new place
facing a different way, maybe i'll feel okay
maybe the light will break, so i can find a place
where i can fade away, then find another place
the same set of stars i see everyday
they are helpful in their own special way
they know some things i know i don't know how to say
so i'll save it for, for another day
the same road i've known starts to get old
if i could find another way, i'd drive it everyday
and it has paved my way, to crash another place
where i can sit all day, then find another place
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4. |
road 3
04:28
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i know there's more to life
but it's just a matter of time
i once belonged to no one
but now i belong to whoever i want
i bet you wanted to save me but
i already knew someone
with a truck who could pull me out
we stayed and talked a lot
we froze and i paced around
there was nothing to talk about
i stood idle and shook my legs
i stood there and covered my face
you sat at home all day
i didn't mean things to happen this way
i hope you know it was an honest mistake
i hope you know that i have nothing to say
and for the second time the other day
i didn't mean things to go so astray
but i went home and wrapped round my neck
i went home and laid on my back
the first week it was more
than i could ever know
but it's just a matter of time
it's just another broken light
too bad the furthest i can drive is the ocean
every morning i act like i have somewhere to go
and i wake up to an idea forming
but i'm stopped by the beach at the end of the road
now i can feel the memories forming
i can feel my face deforming
seeing stars like my eyes are built for sight
but all it is is just the snowflakes in the light
i know there's more to life
i know there's more to life
i know there's more to life
i know there's more to life
i'm just another wreck
i'm just another ditch
it was just the same turn
it was just the same old road
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5. |
road 4
03:06
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6. |
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and if the power goes out again
it's too much to let them win
i'm to tired and stay alive
i know they control my life
i've got it all memorized
and i don't want you kids to change me
to rearrange me
your secrets become mine and mine become yours
we go backwards in time, but nobody knows
when did i stop looking straight
i look at the ground an i look up and your eyes will fade
i wish you knew about your veins
i wish i didn't have such an expressionless face
i wish i could cry myself to sleep
but not in the way that makes me look weak
i spend the morning removing your heat
i spent the day forgetting my week
but i have it it all memorized
i haven't been in the right frame of mind
and i apologize
i've got it all memorized
and i refuse to let you kids to change me
to rearrange me
i won't let it phase me
how long can i last
making eye contact
electricity flows through our veins i guess
could shut off any day
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7. |
ii. down
03:18
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"i used to love life, and something one day just kinda clicked and it was a steady down, down, down, down, and trying to hide it. and you don't really know that you're going down until people- you realize that you're not happy with anything. like, nothing makes you happy. and you used to be happy all the time, but now everything that made you happy is just tiresome. i'll freely admit, like, i'm still learning a lot, because of, sometimes- and especially in the beginning you don't want to know. you want to push it aside, pretend it's not there. so you don't do anything and it just gets worse."
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8. |
our favorite tree
03:26
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out favorite tree fell down yesterday
uprooted where we used to play
it had finally met it's match to my dismay
we all now wish that it could have stayed
the roots that stood there strong in place
will soon be left as an empty space
there's nothing like a life you could possibly replace
there's no windy weather that could ever blow away those days
taking bottles burred once below
years and years of rain, sleet, ice and snow
for future generations to show
there once was something there but they will never know
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9. |
textures
04:40
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one morning i woke up to feel nothing was the same
i'm stuck behind this energy field, i can hear you call my name
some say we might hear our voices echo out of time
some day we might reach right through and touch the other side
(i feel you)
you're breathing down my shirt
you're moving down my neck
you're flowing through my veins
you're dripping down my back
this city's slowing caving in, my time at home will soon be spent
in a couple years, scrape your hands across my rusted gears
take a deep breath please, if it helps you can hear me speak
feel me peeling off, and feel my engine cough
you spent so long looking out for every single little sound
that i make for you, if i was there i'd do it too
you're breathing down my shirt
you're moving down my neck
you're flowing through my veins
you're dripping down my back
you're breathing down my shirt
you're moving down my neck
you're flowing through my veins
you're dripping down my back
now i will never be there near you but i can always be there for you
i know your bed is soft, i know your skin is soft
if you knew my hands are rough, if i could taste you on my tongue
oh i've been through every vein and i've been to every place
so i think you'll be okay, it gets better everyday
that morning were you there with me or were you merely listening
half way across the world, your story's getting told
to the ears of someone, from the mouth of no one
feel you reach inside, feel the texture that i hide
you're breathing down my shirt
you're moving down my neck
you're flowing through my veins
you're dripping down my back
oh you're breathing down my shirt
you're moving down my neck
you're flowing through my veins
you're dripping down my back
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10. |
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last night i took my steps so carefully
walking from the side of the road through the bog then i could see
the last light of the sunset glazing on the ocean
never reaching the shore but just as bright as it's sources
i'd like to dream of one day sitting on this cliff with you
you'd pick me up and throw me in the air above you
we'd love to tempt our fate while our own hearts beat
we'd love to drift apart and we will love till we are weak
oh it's a place where we can reach
oh sea of fears and an island of dreams
we can sit on the shore and watch the whales breach
we can lay on the shore and get swept up in our sleep
i took another step to capture ever sight i'll lose
and one step closer was too much, the ground came loose and
my finger slipping captured the sight that i will know forever
painting over ever chord and every line and every letter
prepare your arguments whoever you are
and i will sit in the center of your palm
keep my steps close to yours but you will never know
how it feels to spend my life wrapped up in your warmth
oh its a place in the middle of a storm
of there's a title wave nearing the shore
i've been dreading mine and you've been dreading yours
i hope your fingers slips as you're climbing to the shore
oh it's a place where we can reach
oh sea of fears and an island of dreams
we can see all the things we cannot see at home
we can hold on and never let go
lying on the shore and saying your goodbyes
i will see the life slowly fade form your eyes
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11. |
for chickie
01:58
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farewell
i didn't even know your gender
but i hope
your friends will remember
your blood
is on my hands
and your little voice
and your little temper
i held you in my hands
i will remember
the feeling of your insides
when i turned you to look
did i crush you with my boot
did i kill you
the bobbing of your head
the opening of your beak
did i grasp too hard
were you too fragile and weak
you were gone to early
after it was too late
but if you lived a couple months,
maybe you'd have wanted it this way
i promise
i will bury your body
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12. |
shades
08:26
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i can't give you the answers you want
can't you see the fear in my face
my lips are stacked all wrong
my tongue is cold and soft
can't you feel the heat of my breath
can't you see my eyes drift across the room when i talk to you
my hands are sore and filthy
my eyes feel slowly blurred
everything is fading away
look at me i've gone up in flames
can't you feel the heat of my presence
my words are slurred and slaughtered
my body's cold and raw
everything is fading away
i know we've been staying up too late
and i know you feel the same
our bodies are changing
we are losing our shape
i can't pretend anymore
dear (babe) please fall asleep in my lap
my shade could change for you
my eyes could fade with you
no rain is poring down
i'll forever be bored
so i think i'll need that now
more than ever before
everything is fading away
everything it taken away
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13. |
iii. future
07:32
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"i guess it still doesn't really exist, but it's really scary, thinking about the future is- one of the worst things for me to do, because i'm convinced and all i see is usually just a road of nothing. nothing. just every morning, the same sun, coming through the same window, at the same time, to wake you up to the same day, of the same pain, of the same extreme boredom, of the same frustrations, and you see where this goes. and so, i'm trying really hard not- not to. i'm trying to find a way to be comfortable with the present, cause i'm not. i'm not comfortable with the present, i'm not comfortable with the past, and i'm definitely scared to death of the future."
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14. |
looking forward
09:38
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i just need something to look forward to
i just need something to look forward to
i used to spend my nights alone
i used to spend my weeks in hope
now i count the weeks i'll know
weeks passed and i tried
but it won't be the last time
cause lately i've been trying to
do my best to push through
all the darkness of my life
will one day soon been burning bright
soon you will see
how it will be
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zack scribner Seldovia, Alaska
20y/o noise maker from seldovia, alaska
residing in portland, oregon
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